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As a professional Mediator for nine years, coming from a Latin background, I have a great appreciation for Florida’s vast diversity. I have learned about effective communication, which involves truly placing your feelings, judgments and personal opinions to the side by sincerely listening to and considering the other person’s point of view. Speaking is not the only way we communicate; our body language, including but not limited to eye contact and facial expressions, is also a form of communication. Listening to someone express themselves through communication and “putting yourself in their shoes” is the most sincere and respectful way to show someone that you value their thoughts and feelings. Here are some useful tips while communicating–

“Conveying your point more effectively”

-          When speaking to anyone, especially loved ones, do not point the finger. Include yourself in the problem. Take turns expressing and listening to each other’s ideas.

-          In order to effectively communicate, control is essential. Do not raise your voice, as you are giving the other side the opportunity to do the same. This will lead to a more frustrating situation.

-          Remember, communication is only kept under control if all parties are equally providing each other with mutual respect. Take turns speaking without interrupting one another.

-          Always question the other person on their feelings and opinions. Make sure they have a clear understanding of your opinion and you have a clear understanding of theirs. If you do not understand, question one another, but remember never to interrupt.

-          Let the other side know that you care. Make sure that they know you are willing to listen to whatever they have to say and willing to respect their point of view. Make it clear to the other person that they have to do the same to effectively communicate.

Keep in mind that every communication will not always be perfect, but you will gain more while communicating if you attempt to communicate effectively and are conscious of your verbal and facial expressions.

–By Karem Vera

Private mediator, Karem Vera of Professional Mediators has a B.S. in Psychology, holds County/Civil & Family certification, is certified as a Circuit/Civil & Dependency mediator, and is a member of the Florida Academy of Professional Mediators, the Association of Broward County Mediators, the Association for Conflict Resolution, and Women That Win (MastHERmind Alumni). Click here to learn more about Professional Mediators.

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 Did you know?

•  When you are starting a new career or rebuilding one that has been unexpectedly shattered, a few hours of your time per week as a volunteer or mentor can dramatically lift your self-esteem and help make you an important person in the business community.
•  Career goals are often squashed or dismissed by the simple act of saying to one’s self, “It’s impossible” or ” I can’t.”
•  There have been numerous scientific and medical studies that document the advantage of remaining optimistic during periods of career challenges, illnesses, financial losses, relationship frustrations, aging and all kinds of stress. 
• We have all heard the expression, “you are what you eat,” and as educated, successful women, we know that unhealthy eating habits eventually lead to poor health regardless of our genetics. Since we accept the knowledge that our bodies react to our food intake, could it also be true that, “we are what we think?” Is it possible that negative thoughts can poison our minds and set us up to experience anxiety at work and disappointment in life? Some of the most successful well-adjusted women I have met or read about in my life would be considered by society as positive thinkers and high- achieving professionals. Somehow they always seem to land on their feet, despite hitting rock bottom professionally. How did they do it? Creativity, perseverance, and positive thinking are just a few of the tools they use.

Positive thinking is not just an expression. It’s a state of mind that anyone can acquire. The first step to developing and maintaining a thought process that enhances your energy, motivation, and passion, is to become aware of what you are thinking throughout each day. If you discover that your thoughts are predominately negative or based on fear, you need to focus on changing your mindset.

When I first began to actively practice mind control, I perceived it was going to be an easy task. The bad news is that it is hard work to train your mind to turn off the voice in your head, which is secretly whispering self-deprecating words into your ears. The impact that this kind of thinking has on your professional life can be devastating.

The good news is one can change their mindset and reignite their career.

What’s Next?

Positive thinking tips:

1. Practice recognizing when you are focused on negative thoughts. What do you think affects your persona? If things are not going your way as you build your career, there are a few proven methods that can help change the way others perceive you and at the same time build your self-esteem. I suggest you search deep within yourself and ask what fires your passion professionally. Then, volunteer your time a few hours whenever possible at an establishment that will further your knowledge and expertise in that field. It’s a win for you and for them. It’s a great addition to your resume as well. Here a link to more information. http://www.helpguide.org/life/volunteer_opportunities_benefits_volunteering.htm
2.  Try the Replacement Method. Once you learn to recognize and single out negative thoughts, replace them with upbeat ideas. Focus on visions that motivate you. Reject negativity. Thoughts are not reality and therefore, can be controlled by you.
3. Believe in yourself and in your capabilities. When you are stressed and challenged, remember to breathe deeply and slowly, remain calm, and focus on achieving an optimistic solution. The decision to gain total control of your mind is your prerogative.
4. Leaders are positive thinkers. They inspire, help, and motivate others as well as themselves at the office and at home. One of the most spiritually uplifting activities in which I have ever partaken was to actively mentor someone else. Mentoring another will increase your understanding of your value professionally. Click here for more information: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_70.htm.

I am the co-host of a Blog Talk Radio show and organization called the “World Positive Thinkers”, where we honor those among us who are recognized as world-class positive thinkers. The WPT organization was formed in 1995. Our outstanding Membership list is posted on our website.

The WPT organization commends Palm Beach County’s very own Jill Duggan, Publisher of PALM BEACH WOMAN MAGAZINE. Jill is making a difference in others lives and their careers. Listen to the amazing Jill Duggan on Blog Talk radio on December 8^th, 2011.

–By Myra Goldick

For more information visit:

http://tinyurl.com/WPTClubFacebookPage,  http://www.worldpositivethinkers.org,  http://positivethinkersradio.net